I have had a couple of people request a blog update, and I have been very slow to oblige. Mostly because I am having some pretty severe writer’s block, but also because I have been lazy.
With the help of my handy new scale that I got for Christmas, I am able to keep up with my weight now. This has been double-edged! I got to the point that I was weighing myself every day, and that was becoming unhealthy for me. I obsessed, even more than I normally do, over my weight. If I found that I had lost very minimal, or lord forbid gained, it ruined my entire day. With the help of my husband, I limit myself to one weigh-in a week. I have noticed a pattern forming – one week of plateau followed by a week of loss. Right now I tend to lose five to six pounds a week. I use the Monitor Your Weight app on my tablet and it gives me a few neat visuals – I do recommend it – it’s free and rather handy.
According to the app, I am about 58% to my goal, which is a little discouraging considering I am almost a year out. It also tells me that I lose an average of 5.56 lbs a week/ 0.79 lbs a day. My current BMI is 51.8, which is terrible unless you compare it to my starting BMI of 91.4. I really have lost a lot; and I have a lot to be proud of myself for… and yet! I am still disappointed. I know I have said it before but there is more headwork to this process than there is working out.
I still struggle daily to get my water in and I still find it difficult to stay within the 800 calorie range. Some days I want to snack all day, but I stop myself of course. I have found a lot of healthier snacks. Although they are a little carb-y, I really like the Dutch cocoa flavored Somersaults you can get from Target. Cheese is always a great option, of course. Hummus is reliable and tasty. Oh! I broke down and forked out the $5 a bag for some of those parmesan cheese crisps… all I can say is wow. I bought the Cello brand whisps from Publix. They were more than $5….closer to $6, and you don’t get very much in a bag BUT they are amazing. They are just parmesan cheese fried or baked or something to make them the texture of a chip or a cracker. They have great crunch and they taste, well, like cheese since that’s all they are. I’m all about them. I ate them plain, but I can totally see using them with dip. I’d like to find something for salsa, but I don’t think parmesan would work well with that. Maybe if I can find cheddar… There are a ton of tutorials and recipes online to make them yourself so I may give it a try at some point and post it to the food blog I plan on making. I know, I know… I don’t even keep this one or manic.poetic up… but I kind of have to obsess about food these days; why not write about it?
Aside from my weight-loss, I have been meeting some of my other personal goals. I sorted out the garage, which was a mountain of a task and… I GOT A JOB! For the first time in a decade I have an actual 9-5 job with benefits and pay and everything! I’m excited and anxious about starting (I do so in March), and am lucky enough to have a ton of office-appropriate clothes. This brings me to another point, which will be an echo of things I have said in the past… surgery is a wonderful opportunity to make contacts and friends.
I am in several online support communities, but the one I am the most active in by far is full of people who had surgery the same month and year as me. We are mostly women; mostly thirty-somethings; and are all friends. Over the past year we have grown into a really tight group. We celebrate each other’s victories; weight related or not. We have each other’s backs. We genuinely are a huge group of friends. I have gotten to meet a few of these women in person – I’m lucky enough to live in an area where many people vacation. I have had three of these women give me their clothes that are too big for them. As I told them… that was life-changing for me. I have been so broke for so long… being unemployed will do that to you. And they gave me pretty much everything that I need to work out in, to go out and have fun in, and to go to work in. I’m not a Christian and I am not one to throw around words like “blessed”; but I truly feel blessed to have met these women, for so many reasons. So, get to know people who are going through what you’re going through. It is incredibly helpful.
Speaking of clothes… my size! When I started I was in 36/38 women’s, which is NOT easy to find. Now I mostly wear 22/24, though I have been able to comfortably fit some 18/20s. It’s mind-blowing. I know that I am by no means skinny now, but what a world of difference! I feel the difference. I feel more alive. I am able to enjoy life; to go out and do things. A couple of weeks ago my husband and I went to the Saturday morning market. I walked around, spent way too much money on local-grown organic foods, and ate! And I didn’t gorge myself... I enjoyed my food! I didn’t feel like everyone was looking at me or judging me. I didn’t have to sit and rest because my back and knees were hurting…in fact I didn’t get tired at all. This weekend? I’m going to watch an old friend of mine perform. I don’t have to worry if I am going to fit in the seats or if people are going to laugh at me. It is such a relief!
I’m posting my most recent before and after. This was a few weeks ago. Until next time! I should update after my year appointment, which is happening a little early since I had to reschedule for my job. Xx
